Class Action's question of the month

What messages did you get from family, friends, school, work, the media, or other sources about welfare?

The first time I remember thinking or talking about welfare was back when Clinton essentially got rid of welfare. I read the little article in my "Time for Kids" magazine about it, and what I gleaned was "everyone should work if they're going to get paid, right?" I don't remember any adults ever talking to me specifically about it, but I remember the 4th grade class discussion. Pretty much everyone in my predominately upper middle class white/Jewish class thought Clinton's plan made sense. There was no talk of people with disabilities or special needs. Nobody brought up the idea that some of us might one day be on welfare, or already know folks who were.

My mental image of a typical welfare recipient was a Black woman with children. I think that came from the image of the Jamaican mother who cleaned our house once a week and babysat for us occasionally. We gave her all our outgrown clothes, which she sent to her family in Jamaica. I think she was the first person I ever classified as "poor" in my head. Now, her daughter, who is roughly my sister's age, and I are connected via Facebook. I spent a good chunk of my childhood with her, and was glad to reconnect, however virtually. I want to be friends with this girl who shared so much with me, but if I were to reach out like that, I'd also want to talk about the dynamics between us. She attends a historically Black women's college now; I bet she'd have a lot to say. Her mother tells us she wants to be a doctor. Her mother doesn't approve - she says her daughter can't hack medical school. I don't know if anyone in her family's ever been to college, but I also know her mother always wanted her to go.

What do I say? Dear N, I'd love to talk sometime about power and relationships and how your mother's stories make me think you're an awesome human being that I'd like to be friends with? I don't have any nostalgia for the time we spent together as kids, and I wonder if she does. Somehow, I doubt it. Could a friendship honestly exist between us?