Possible Questions

I've done part of my homework for Davey's and my Big Coversation (tm), which is to imagine what might happen if it goes well. I don't know if this is a useful way to think about it or not, but I imagine it could be like labor - like working and working and working without feeling like much progress is being made, then all of a sudden, something big moves and I realize we're going to make it, or we're not. Kind of like the suspended moment when Evil Kinevil is in the air before he knows whether or not he's going to land.

I hope we make it, but it's not the worst thing if we don't. I keep telling myself that. I've lost people I've loved before. And I don't make friends easy enough to say it doesn't matter, but I know I'll live.

But the second part of the homework: the questions to get us started. What the hell are they?

Davey says that he wants me to be more aware of when I'm talking about class. I sometimes make observations and then say "I wonder what that's about," and usually it's class.

What if one of our start-up questions was "How are you?" "How are you feeling about this conversation?"

It seems kind of idiotic, but we gotta start somewhere.

Then, we should make some ground rules, I think. Not that we both don't know the basic rules of good communication, but again, gotta start with something. I statements. Feelings are okay, and welcome. It's okay to call for a time out. Call each other out. Let's keep going until...

...until when? I usually stop these conversations before they get anywhere. What can we commit to?

What do you want out of this? What concrete things? A set of guidelines for talking about class? A big breakthrough understanding?

I want to feel like there's less of an elephant in the corner by the end of this. Knowing that we have a way of talking about class and class shit when it comes up that actually works. Knowing that there's some tool in place. And that probably means we need to practice using that tool to make sure it works.